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CLEAN JOKES - Pecan jokes

    Pecan Jokes

Knock knock
Who's there?
Pecan
Pecan who?
Pecan somebody your own size!

________________________________________________________________________

On the outskirts of town,
there was a big old pecan tree
by the cemetery fence.

One day two kids filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing them.

One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said the boy.
Several were dropped and rolled down toward the gate.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.
As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.
He slowed down to investigate.
Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me.
One for you, one for me."
He just knew what it was.
"Oh my," he shuddered, "it's Satan and the Lord
dividing the souls at the cemetery."
He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard.
Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!"
The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk?" When the boy insisted, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard,
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered,
"Boy, you've been tellin' the truth,
let's see if we can see the devil himself."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the gate,
yet were still unable to see anything.

The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the gate tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.

At last they heard,
"One for you, one for me. And one last one for you.
That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the gate, and we'll be done."
They say, the old guy made it back to town before the boy!